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When this is My Heaven
love story of me 2~ 
11th-Aug-2011 02:06 pm
Hiroto is my Heaven
Author: ameshizuku 
Title: the You And I story
Chapter: 2/?
Band: Alice Nine
Pairing: shouXhiroto
Disclaimer: Do not own characters....only story line...
Rating: PG
Summary: Teen love... hormones or reality?

ARCHIVE: http://ameshizuku.livejournal.com/41106.html#cutid1

It passed a week since I saw him at the stoplight. My heart races yearning to see him again. I can't stop thinking about him. I've been keeping my eyes on pedestrians hoping that the beautiful pedestrian would come up again. However, God has to make things unfair, and of course, I never see him again. But that's okay, I still text him.

Oh yes, that reminds me, yesterday after my night class, I got home and danced around like a dork still texting Shou-kun too. I was in a very happy mood. I was plain hyper. I had two carrot cakes with whipped cream on them, I think they finally acted up late at night. Haha. But anyways on my Shou-kun note, I re-read the texts we sent that day. It was odd really. I always wonder if I really am bothering him with my texts. Does he even want to text me back? Well i just go for it, because you won't find an answer just sitting doing nothing.

I laughed at my first text I sent to him that day. It was 12:18 and I simply sent him a playful message that said "Rawr! I'm a Ponasaur!" I sometimes wonder where all this child-ness comes from. But anyways he laughed at the text and then asked how I slept. Aww, those are the words I'd expect from a boyfriend type person! I looked at it with my dorky love struck smile and sighed texting him back. We went on to what we were doing, and he was in the middle of an essay and I was in the middle of doing laundry. He then asked me (because I told him I was folding everyone's laundry, specifically my brother's) if I have ever found a loose condom.

That made my cheeks turn pink for sure. I told him "NO AND I DUN PLAN TO!" He sent me a laugh and asked if my brother and I ever talked about sex. I wondered where this was going, but I guess it's just his tainted side speaking. My brother and I, well we never touch up on the subject of sex, but relationships are what we always talk about, I asked Shou-kun, and he told me he does talk about it with one of his brothers. He said it gets kind of awkward when his brother has a girlfriend and he knows who he's sleeping with. But we then strayed off that subject after a few hours. Just bringing this up, the reason why I wonder if he gets annoyed with talking to me is that our replies are late.

Well mostly his are, mine are just a few minutes, while Shou-kun's, well over twenty minutes or so late. But I still love him. Ah when I say that it still makes me blush. If I say it out loud, I'd really be giddy inside and out. Aw, I still remember when we first had our one-on-one time in math class. Lucky we had a substitute and we were given time to work on worksheets and in pairs or groups.

But as you can probably guess, no work was getting done at the rate we were going. Tora-kun was out because he broke his arm, so he wasn't with us to supervise us or distract Shou-kun away from this shy little Hiroto, which I didn't mind, but it was like a whole new world with Shou's attention on only me. I can only smile more and hide my face thinking about this. We were playing around like usual, and then I tapped underneath his chin. He gasped and glared at me playfully. "You did not just do that!" I smiled and tilted my head. "Eh?" He tapped under my chin and smirked. "Now you're my bitch!" I looked at him with wide eyes. "EH?! NU UH!! NO BAD WORDS!" He chuckled. "You've never played this game before?" I shook my head. "this is a game?" He laughed at me. "Well it is a game and when you tap under someone's chin and that way you call them "you're bitch' got it?"

I nodded and as soon as he was getting back to 'working', I tapped him under his chin and smiled confidently. "I WIN!" He smirked and then tried to get my chin, but I covered my chin with my hands. He smiled and pouted. "Aww what's that?" I tilted my head and looked at the paper, and that was when he got me back. I pouted and we kept playing for the rest of the two hour class. I just wish I could have that moment again. I just wish we could have our moment alone together again.

But that then brings me back to yesterday night's texts before I went to bed. I asked him when we should have our adventure. I guess he's really busy this summer. He told me: "I don't think we can have it. Tomorrow I have class and friday I have an app and idk what I'm doing on the weekend."

I read that text and my heart's racing level slowed completely. I sighed and then told him: "Guess 'soon' is never gonna come. ;;^;; Ah well it's ok. Gd nite ~ <3 u : )"

The happy face was just there for a reassurance that I wasn't heartbroken. But the truth is, I really really was. I shattered into small pieces. I knew this was coming. "Soon" was never meant to be. Why do I have to be so naive? Why do be so emotional? I hate myself so much. I hate the fact that I try to forget him, but I want to remember him, and he's everything I think about every day and every night. Before I go to sleep, when I wake up.

I got his message two minutes later, which was faster than usual. He said: "I really wanted to go though = ( and night <3 chu" A slight blush flushes over my cheeks, but heartbreak engulfs my mind. I turned off my light and sat on my bed. My mp3 was still playing lowly and I then heard the lines: "I'll be missing you every time, And I will pray for you every night~♪"

I scrunched my face and looked at the title. But of course it was in Hangeul, so today I was looking at the translations and yes. This song, these lyrics, I have no other words to explain it, but it is exactly my story of Shou-kun.

Cool and Natural - 4minute
It's going to be like nothing when time passes by
I will do fine like the time when you weren't there
But something strange happens, I keep looking for you
Even after erasing you I see you

Calmly I tried to forget about it like it was a lie
But I end up missing you more

I'll be missing you every time
And I will pray for you every night

Even though I try to fool myself it was nothing
My painful heart shakes without me knowing
Nothing is everything

It was nothing
It was nothing, but the fast that I can't forget it is weird
I pray to meet you for a little while
I wanna see you
I'm gonna miss you

I must have liked you a lot, I keep thinking about you
Many times a day, I feel I can cry
When you were here with me I didn't know how special you were
I'm sorry for making you hurt so much

Confidently I tried to erase you like it was a usual thing
More I do that I miss you more

I'll be missing you every time
And I will pray for you every night
Even though I try to fool myself like it was nothing
My painful heart shakes without me knowing
Nothing is everything

My love that grew too big for my small heart is you

I'll be missing you every time
And I will pray for you every night
Even though I try to fool myself like it was nothing
My painful heart shakes without me knowing
Nothing is everything  

Sad, but it's all true. Hiroto why are you so stupid hm? I just want to explode but I hide away. Yesterday night I cried in my bed. I cried myself to sleep. I cried telling myself that everything I'm seeing is just a fake. It's all just my fantasy. I'm just really into over thinking things. I'm a crazy person. Let's face it.  

Ugh. Anyways so with that heartbreak and sleeping, my thoughtful mind decided to give me a dream with Shou-kun in it. Oh that just really makes things better! So in my dream I was at the store have a short late night shopping trip with my brother when I see Shou-kun running behind us. I was I guess mad at him in my dream, so he ran up to me before I opened the passenger door.

"Hiroto please wait!" I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. "What do you want? I need to go..." I guess he was just trying to make up for what our lost adventure. He told me that he could drive me to my evening class and then have our adventure after that, but I told him it ended late, and my parents usually wanted me home around 10. He sighed and then said he will think of something, After that, he disappeared and then my heart broke into millions of pieces.

And I woke up listening to another heart breaking song. I'm wondering if this all actually leads to something? Well the next song in my mp3 will tell me if I'm insane or not.
He just really wants to tell me: Need you now - Lady Antebellum
I will always tell him: It only hurts - Julie Thompson
Together we are just truly: Marry - Kra

Okay seriously my mp3 player is on shuffle and I have a lot of songs, but of course maybe fate decides to show these titles? I don't even know anymore! I feel like I am being torn into sections of emotions. I want to tell him so bad. I want to see him now. But time is being cruel and won't let me. The lord is testing me.

Please help me... I will see you later dear journal... perhaps next week, or in a few days.... I will see Shou on Monday. The first day of our last year in high school.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Okay so I've decided to continue this with the events I go along with... haha~♥
thank you to all of you who commented, I will stay strong I promise!

love u all and hope u enjoy what's to come... soon....

11th-Aug-2011 09:41 pm (UTC)
Yay ♥
I am glad you continue :) I really like this fic. Thanks for writting it :3 :D
16th-Aug-2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
♥♥ aww haha thank you for convincing me to do so~
12th-Aug-2011 12:23 am (UTC)
lol, lovestruck highschool gi....i mean boy pon is so cute
16th-Aug-2011 11:34 pm (UTC)
Aww thanks so much!! haha ♥ XD""
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