OH MY GAH! HE IS KILLING ME INSIDE AND OUT!
I just don't know what to think now! My goodness! Tell me.... if a boy hugs you for about 30 seconds after not seeing you for a while is it good?
I can't help but blush every time I see him now. So anyways I should tell you about yesterday. So the first day of school. It was very Nice I have to say. Got to see everyone again, sadly Shou-kun's not in any of my classes and I have no clue where he hangs out at break, sadness. But I saw him walking in the hall and turning down the stairs when I was walking around school with Hongki. Aw, I wanted to shout out to him, but I was in the middle of talking to Hongki too, so I didn't.
It was then after a long wait, at lunch. I finished up eating and told Hongki that we should go walk around for a bit. And so we did. The truth was I was DETERMINED to find my lover boy that day. So we went to walk around, and I acted like my usual hyper self. I saw him eating with some of his own friends, but I was too shy to go up to him and say hi. So we walked around and found Tora and some of his other friends that we knew as well. We all talked for a bit, and then I told Hongki we should walk around again.
A few minutes before the bell rang, I saw Shou talking with some buddies in Tora's group. So I dragged Hongki determined to finally see him. My heart raced as I walked over to the group. He was ending his convo and turned seeing us approaching. His eyes lit up. He smiled and opened his arms surrounding my frame and squeezing me closer. He then said.
"PON! Oh I missed you so much!! MMMMM!!!" He seriously pressed me up against his frame and nuzzled against my shoulder. My face was pressed up to his neck, I inhaled his sweet clean scent. Ugh I melted inside and blushed.
"I missed you too!" He said in a slight shaky tone. I smiled and then realized how long we were hugging. I then pushed him away slightly. Oh dear how I wished I hadn't!! My goodness he apologized anyways and I smiled. He then tilted his head. "You know you looked good in the car when you stalked me."
UWAAAAHHH!!! I swear I feel like a fangirl when I remember that, but I simply glared at him playfully. "I WASN'T STALKING YOU! YOU wish!" He laughed and nodded. "Yeah i guess, but you did look good..." I tilted my head. "Why?" He chuckled and shrugged. "Because you were wearing something blue, it looked nice."
My goodness I swear my cheeks were bursting with color. He then asked me. "So how are you feeling?" I smiled. "I'm feeling hot... like you know under the sun and all..." He chuckled and nodded. "Ah I know..." UGH. I pointed at him and smiled "We should plan our adventure soon!" He nodded. "Yeah I know right?!" He smiled and then that was when the bell rang. Hongki was talking with Ruki and then looked at me. "Well I'll see you tomorrow then Shou-kun..." Shou smiled and nodded. "Okay!" he then hugged me again before we left our different ways. My mind is spinning so much from this moment. It's just one of those small moments when your heart races for some of the smallest things.
Anyways, so today at lunch, finished eating lunch with Nao and Kai and a few others before heading off to find Tora's group of friends on the grassy hill. Well apparently they weren't there at the moment. But Hongki and I just sat in the grass and waited for them. I saw Shou-kun below in the ocean of students. I blushed and continued talking with Hongki about random things. He told me I'm very childish, but I don't care. He knows he likes my childish side anyways! Haha. So anyways, Tora and the others finally came up to the hill and we all got settled. A few moments later, I saw Shou coming up the hill. I smiled and flailed my arms up in the air.
He smiled and held out one arm to pull me up into a hug. Oh my goodness, it was just so perfect how he pulled me up into his arms. Just as if I was a princess and he was my perfect knight. I could go on about this for hours, but anyways, yeah, he hugged me around my wait like he usually does. He's probably the only person to really wraps his arms around my waist for a hug. I love it, yet I get scared of it at the same time. Maybe because it's just new to me. Anyways, so I told him to sit down for a bit, a but he said hold on, and went to hug a few more other buddies, though not as intimate as mine, and came back. He smiled and plopped down beside me. i was really happy. He smiled and watched the ocean of students below.
Me and my curious hands decided they wanted attention from him again. So I pulled on his ear piercing like I promised him I would. He flinched. "ITAI!" I let go and giggled. He pouted. "I'm gonna bit you now!" He took my hand. I chuckled. "Not if I bite you first!" I then pulled his arm closer to my mouth and he pulled it downward so I ended up leaning down as he leaned over about to bite my shoulder. I bit him first and I felt his teeth on the uniform shirt. I let go and squealed a little. He laughed. I looked at him. "Told you I'll bite you!" He chuckled and shrugged. "I know..." He laughed and we sat together, arms almost over each other. Then he looked over at Kyo and decided to go talk out some drama with him. I was then left again with Hongki.
I didn't mind, but then the bell rang so it was time to go. I was saying bye to everyone and I was also putting something into my bag until Shou-kun came over wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. He held me close and smiled. "Bye bye..." I blushed. "Bye!" I said. As soon as he left, Hongki's eyes were pretty wide. "Wow...." was all he said. He's told me once before, Shou-kun gives very intimate hugs. He laughed at my face. "You're face was full of shock when he did that!" I pouted. "I know! I just... consider it a boyfriend hug more than a friend hug.." We started heading off for class and Hongki nodded. "Yeah you know if he didn't do that to all his other friends, I'd say he'd like you...."
I blushed even more. "Eh?! What do you mean? I mean... he doesn't consider friends as intimate others..." Hongki looked at me suspiciously. "I don't know, but maybe if he realizes it, he will like you that way and then he will ask you out and you will say yes!" I turned away fighting my blush. "N-No! I don't think that will happen!" Hongki shrugged. "Never know.... it COULD happen!" He laughed and waved as we turned in different directions. Those words linger off in my head.
What if he sees me that way? What if he does ask me out? I don't even know. I love it so much. I love every time he hugs me. I just feel so right in his arms, like nothing can go wrong at all, yet when it comes to telling him, I'm not sure at all. I will tell him right?
I just can't!
UGH! Debates over in my mind killing me over and over again. I like him a lot I really do.
I mean today i think we acted like a couple. I know Hongki suspects me of liking him. Never told him that I liked Shou-kun, but I think he can see it. Anyways again with the songs, the next one to play...
He thought of me today as: Honesty - dustbox
He wants me to be his: Niji (rainbow) - L'arc~en~ciel
He will tell me: Love is sweet - Super Junior M
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Oh dear what to think now. Please hang tight with me journal. I promise I will be strong. Until the next time....
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So I'm gonna make their school an ALL boys school okay?? hahah hope you all enjoy so far.
everything is so confusing when you have that guy friend like this... what's a little different is that he's a year younger than me....TT^TT ah well....